I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
