They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im calling her cock vulture from now on
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When are your genitals available?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
