I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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