you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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