Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
