Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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