I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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