seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
