I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
