Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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