i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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