so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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