Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
