I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
