idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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