my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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