you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
