i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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