check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
