what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
