I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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