I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize