billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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