Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am one with the molecules
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
