You really coming over, don't trick.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Enjoy the penises
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
