i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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