Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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