I think I am morally bankrupt
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
