after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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