Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
