I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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