susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
