Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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