dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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