Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
