Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
