I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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