He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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