And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
