I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
