He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
