Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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