we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
