what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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