Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
