I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
