Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
