I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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