this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He shit in the fireplace
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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