i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
