They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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