Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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