The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
