I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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