Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
