I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize