Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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