i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
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it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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