From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
