I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
