It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
