Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
