She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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