Betty ford says i'm here all night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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