i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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