Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
