That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
