Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
