If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize