I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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