i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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